Trust

So I'm beginning to figure out that my friends, family and well wishers are not going to some how stumble across this blog and discover my dirty little secrets. If they do I'll just tell them I was drunk when I wrote it or maybe it's some other James. Probably one with very mean and hurtful friends so he couldn't talk to them about this stuff like I can with you guys.

It is a five letter word, but it is also the biggest word in my vocabulary. I didn't think trust used to matter. You sort of go through life taking things at face value and never putting much thought into things. It's a good life if you can run it. I should know, it was great for all the years I was doing it. Then things all blew up and went to hell. I think my problem s all started with a girl, but hey don't they all? She was awesome. The love of my life. I t was one of those incredibly hard fought battles. The girl had no interest in me. I changed that. The girls parents thought I was no good. I changed that. I was on high. Things were just working out for me no matter what I did. It was great.

That was during my trusting years. I'm sure if your reading this you want to hear all the juicy details but I'm not going to divulge that. The bottom line is there was some cheating involved, some good friends, some bad friends and a lot of burnt bridges. If you have read any of my other blogs you will have by now read that "every man is an island" this was the time in my life that I had to become one. No one out there would put me first so I should quit trusting in them to try. In the year that followed I feel like a died a bit inside. I burned away my innocence I soul...

Well, well, some one was pissy boy on Friday. I'm not sure where I was going with that. I did like reading it thou so I think I will post it. If anyone out there really wants to hear my rant I'm sorry I just can't stay troubled for a whole long weekend. I have to put more time into my post so I finish my thought before it gets replaced by a different one.

And now a full day later I'm going to stop trying to figure out this and just post the damn thing.
Later.
James