Happy Friday

Today I was thinking about how great life is. I have a job I love. Three separate “secret girlfriends” who have no knowledge of each other. More good friends then someone all morally depraved as me should have and I’m always happy. Seriously I’ve tried to think of times when I’m unhappy for a stretch. Sure I’ll be the first to admit that at any given time something could piss me off and I could be angry right then. I get annoyed at stupid people all the time. I even expect better from others then I do from myself. I berate and belittle people all the time. But I’m getting distracted.

The point of all that was to show how super duper things are for me. You know how people all say someone will get their “just desert”. I’ve certainly gotten mine started this week. I got up late today, not because I was out late last night or because I worked particularly hard the day before. Nope, for some unknown reason when my alarm went off this morning I woke up turned it off and though to my self that I could lie back down with my eyes closed and ease into the day. Now thinking about this kind of thing right now while I’m wide-awake makes me laugh. I can sleep through a gunfight. Fall asleep in the bright noonday sun while having a conversation with Jesus. However this morning I though it was a very reasonable request to get a little break before hopping out of bed to charge into the world.

So now I’m running late. In another attempt to make things easy for myself I left off putting the garbage and recycling out last night. I would obviously get up in plenty of time to do that. I must love screwing over morning me. Nighttime me apparently hates morning me too. He does things like drink too much or eats hot food in large quantities. Morning me hates everyone. He feels we are all out to get him. I don’t think his view of the world is that far off base.

I stabbed my hand on a shard of broken glass in the recycle box while trying to hurry. This ended up costing me even more valuable time. Since I had to stop and wash the blood off my hand and inspect the wound for glass shards. There weren’t any. I got to work at the crack of 8:08. The only good thing about the day was that I beat my boss in. I went right to work. I walked into my office and cracked my hand off a table. It ripped the skin off my knuckle and for the second time that morning I was bleeding. I managed to stem the flow of blood and went about my work. Then a few minutes later I got the grand daddy of all paper cuts. I didn’t think you could get a paper cut down to the bone. You live and learn. For the third time today I’m bleeding. It wasn’t even noon. It’s about Two O’clock now and next to rubbing a little hot sauce in the “Ogre” eye things have been suspiciously slow. I’m a little scared of the drive home.
If my good luck really has turned around I figure it should suck ass for the next 25 years since the first have been so blessed.