Posting from the underground

Honestly, I wrote two whole entries on what I'm having for lunch? Wow that is some riveting information there! Later I'll write about how it feels to pee. I'm just so furious today. At least it gives me something to actually piss and moan about. So without any further distraction here is my bitch of the week.

When I got the job I am doing now I inherited a computer and office. The computer had some anit-spy ware components installed on it and the former owner said I should run them every now and then. I have been for a year now and the small amount of spy ware and/or virus have multiplied. It got to the point where it was getting in the way of my working. I called my help desk and was told that it would be no problem to clear things up and get me running smoothly again. There was just one problem; they had to get permission from my administrator to poke around at my system.

Queue Satan's theme music. After refusing to cooperate with tech support she eventually decided to come down and fix the problem at ground zero. This was my first chance to meet her. To put I mildly I was "tad curious" over who this woman was screaming, "stop using the Internet, I don't have time to baby sit all of you." After she left it was explained to me that the “She Bitch” in question was my administrator. Although in theory I liked her solution the fact that %75 of my job requires me to use various third party web sites made me doubt her expertise.

Here is where things really start to go bad for me. I figured that I should be allowed to do my job and have a functioning computer. I know I'm such a fucking radical. Yep just me, Sadam, and Bin Laden all hunkered down in a bunker ranting on about American pigs, UN snooping, and LAN Administrators. The three things keeping us down. I just didn't know when to quit. It seems asking for the tools to do your job is way out of line. Especially if it shows that a certain administrator doesn't do her job.

On Wednesday some one from tech support cam down and picked up my computer. They asked me if "the Bitch Overlord" had been down yet to back up my data like she said she would. My answer was to hold up a small stack of floppy disks I had done myself, roll my eyes and mutter "yeah she got right on that". I got my computer back yesterday. I was thrilled. I had been unable to work for the better half of Wednesday and the morning on Thursday. My machine booted up, I was so pleased to see Windows XP show up. I even went so far as to thank my newfound Tech buddy.

Things get worse. He tells me not to thank him for what they had to do. The "Bitch Queen" has requested I have the strictest level of idiot proofing available. I can't even change my desktop picture. My mouse that my boss got me a few months ago. Oh it's so beautiful, cordless, optical, eighty-seven buttons, a butler, and the ability to orally satisfy me. Yeah none of it works. The best part is that I can’t do my job in this computer. My boss has been pulling double duties. He’s doing my job and his right now while we try to find her. It doesn’t look like she’s on this plane anymore.Could one of you out in Internet land mutter that you sell your soul for a jelly donut? I’m just saying she would probably appear and you could ask her to get her ass back here and fix my God damn computer. Actually send that donut back with her, I’m kind of hungry.